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Down to Zero

Bodie finally makes his move, Doyle evades, things get worse still.

Down to Zero
by Draycevixen


It had been a Tuesday night, six months, two weeks, four days, three hours and twenty-five minutes ago when he’d looked across the table over his third We-survived-another-one pint of the evening and came to the sudden heart stopping realization that he was in love with Raymond Doyle. It had come as such a complete shock to him that he’d choked on his mouthful of steak and kidney pie and Doyle had had to thump him on the back several times until he could breathe properly again. An inauspicious beginning, is the way Bodie fancied Cowley would have described it in a report, if he’d ever been stupid enough to tell Cowley.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
constant_muse
Mar. 19th, 2010 11:49 pm (UTC)
hee - and we were just talking about humour in Pros fic over at ci5hq.

The humour in this works well for me - as well as wry description and dialogue, there's even a bit of slapstick comedy, which isn't easy to do, I imagine.
cloudless_9193
Mar. 20th, 2010 08:10 am (UTC)
I love the situations she lets her lads drop into. It's nice to know you liked it. :-)
shooting2kill
Mar. 20th, 2010 12:12 pm (UTC)
I think 'wry' is a good word to describe the style of humour in this story and it's the kind of humour I like - dryish and not forced upon the reader. And it sets a good pace which I think is all-important with humour.
cloudless_9193
Mar. 20th, 2010 12:35 pm (UTC)
I thought it would appeal to you, too. :-)
ci5mates
Mar. 21st, 2010 12:54 pm (UTC)
I think this story is very well written. I could see the scenes without having to think too hard, I like it when I don't have to concentrate overly to imagine it and it just falls into place. I felt very sorry for poor Bodie and I loved the response that Bodie thought he initially got, it is so how I would imagine that scene to unfold. I did love the humour, that is so hard to do.
cloudless_9193
Mar. 21st, 2010 01:37 pm (UTC)
You summed it up nicely. I'm glad you like it too! :-)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )